Monday
Apr132009
Open letters to myself.
Monday, April 13, 2009 at 7:52PM
Dear Self,
Hello. How are you? It's been a long time -- too long, in fact. I hope this letter finds you well and in good health and good spirits.
Love,
The Yarnista
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Dear Self,
I have a small question for you. I hope you won't be offended, but I wanted to know how it's possible that you took nine pictures of your Easter centerpiece, and every single one of them is blurry? Did you purposely make them blurry? If so, why?
Maybe next time you shouldn't try to test the limits of that fancy camera lens. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Again, don't mind me saying so, but you did a terrible job of getting rid of the yarn in the crystal bowl next to the yarn. The yarn was pretty -- why did you take it out? Are you afraid you're going to spoil the May selections for club members?
I hope this letter finds you in good health and good spirits.
Love,
The Yarnista
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.
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Dear Self,
Please be sure that next time you accost a White House volunteer, you do it nicely. There's no need to get huffy when the word dyeing is misspelled all over White House signs and programs. Please, consider that it's a holiday event for children and cut people some slack.
I know you feel that your tax money is being wasted on misspelled signs, but it's highly doubtful that anyone else noticed. You were probably one of the only Yarnistas in attendance.
What's that? You were only upset on the inside and you didn't actually say anything? Oh, well, that's a relief. Perhaps you did learn some manners after all. Did you say anything to the President?
No? What about the First Lady?
Good. I'm sure they're busy with other important things. I'm sure they didn't make the signs or programs that describe all the eggs dying. I certainly hope you didn't hurt the feelings of either of the Obama girls or Michelle Obama's mother. You would never live that down.
Whew. You can rest your head easily tonight. I hope this letter finds you well and in good health and good spirits.
Sweet Dreams,
The Yarnista
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Dear Self,
No, you're not as fit and stylish as Michelle Obama. Sorry.
I know you went to Macy's and bought yourself a new spring dress. You can't put lipstick on a pig. Or, you can, but it just won't look as good as it would if you put lipstick on Michelle Obama.
What, are you squinting? See, Michelle Obama knows that she should open her eyes for the camera and not squint. It doesn't really matter how bright it is. When you squint, you look like this:
Also, you're not fooling anyone. Here you are, putting pictures on a blog associated with a business that has the word Irish in its name, and what are you wearing here? Green? Orange? White?
Hello?
Meow.
The Yarnista
P.S. I hope this letter finds you well and in good health and good spirits.
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Dear Self,
I hope this letter finds you well and in good health and good spirits. But I'm surprised you're just now figuring out that the Easter Bunny is, in fact, blind. The Easter Bunny must be led by the arm wherever it goes so it doesn't bump into things. It wears glasses, but they don't really help much.
Sorry to spoil all the fun.
Love,
The Yarnista
.
.
.
Dear Self,
The next time someone asks you, "Should we bring snacks for our two year old to this long event, or should we not bring snacks for our two year old?", pick the first one.
Just trying to be helpful. I hope this letter finds you well and in good health and good spirits.
The Yarnista
Hello. How are you? It's been a long time -- too long, in fact. I hope this letter finds you well and in good health and good spirits.
Love,
The Yarnista
.
.
.
Dear Self,
I have a small question for you. I hope you won't be offended, but I wanted to know how it's possible that you took nine pictures of your Easter centerpiece, and every single one of them is blurry? Did you purposely make them blurry? If so, why?
Maybe next time you shouldn't try to test the limits of that fancy camera lens. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Again, don't mind me saying so, but you did a terrible job of getting rid of the yarn in the crystal bowl next to the yarn. The yarn was pretty -- why did you take it out? Are you afraid you're going to spoil the May selections for club members?
I hope this letter finds you in good health and good spirits.
Love,
The Yarnista
.
.
.
Dear Self,
Please be sure that next time you accost a White House volunteer, you do it nicely. There's no need to get huffy when the word dyeing is misspelled all over White House signs and programs. Please, consider that it's a holiday event for children and cut people some slack.
I know you feel that your tax money is being wasted on misspelled signs, but it's highly doubtful that anyone else noticed. You were probably one of the only Yarnistas in attendance.
What's that? You were only upset on the inside and you didn't actually say anything? Oh, well, that's a relief. Perhaps you did learn some manners after all. Did you say anything to the President?
No? What about the First Lady?
Good. I'm sure they're busy with other important things. I'm sure they didn't make the signs or programs that describe all the eggs dying. I certainly hope you didn't hurt the feelings of either of the Obama girls or Michelle Obama's mother. You would never live that down.
Whew. You can rest your head easily tonight. I hope this letter finds you well and in good health and good spirits.
Sweet Dreams,
The Yarnista
.
.
.
Dear Self,
No, you're not as fit and stylish as Michelle Obama. Sorry.
I know you went to Macy's and bought yourself a new spring dress. You can't put lipstick on a pig. Or, you can, but it just won't look as good as it would if you put lipstick on Michelle Obama.
What, are you squinting? See, Michelle Obama knows that she should open her eyes for the camera and not squint. It doesn't really matter how bright it is. When you squint, you look like this:
Also, you're not fooling anyone. Here you are, putting pictures on a blog associated with a business that has the word Irish in its name, and what are you wearing here? Green? Orange? White?
Hello?
Meow.
The Yarnista
P.S. I hope this letter finds you well and in good health and good spirits.
.
.
.
Dear Self,
I hope this letter finds you well and in good health and good spirits. But I'm surprised you're just now figuring out that the Easter Bunny is, in fact, blind. The Easter Bunny must be led by the arm wherever it goes so it doesn't bump into things. It wears glasses, but they don't really help much.
Sorry to spoil all the fun.
Love,
The Yarnista
.
.
.
Dear Self,
The next time someone asks you, "Should we bring snacks for our two year old to this long event, or should we not bring snacks for our two year old?", pick the first one.
Just trying to be helpful. I hope this letter finds you well and in good health and good spirits.
The Yarnista
Reader Comments (17)
Love your letters to self.. Your blog posts always make me laugh. Now if only I could see the may colors................
Glad you had a nice Easter.
You look adorable in that dress! Not all of us can have white house staff selecting our closthes and styling our hair - not to mention the budget!
And I suppose that dying was correct -- the eggs certainly weren't alive after being boiled and dyd, but that would also irritate me! Spell check, people, it doesn't fix homophones!
Dear Yarnista,
You look incredible in your new spring dress! And the coat with the orange lining is perfect.
Lucky you getting be there for the festivities!
You looked lovely and there is room in the DC area for more than one stylish dame;)
I love that dress!! And I'm so excited for your kids that they get to go to the white house easter egg hunt. !!!
Yes, no matter how much food will be at an event, or how little time you will be there - ALWAYS bring the snacks!
What a great experience for you and your family!
How COOL! I'm slightly jealous you were at the Easter Event at the White House while I braved the winding mountain roads of Pennsylvania on our way home from our Spring "break" to see my family in Canada. Love your dress as well! :D
Love the letters!
You lucky duck!! Being one of the specially chosen egg rollers. :-) And at a wonderful time of the year in D. C. And being close to the Obama's, who are indeed so stylish and well spoken, my favorite part.
Always, always take food and wipes (we use cloth) and a change of clothes and one little toy, preferable with wheels.
egg dying!!!!!
bahahahahahaaa..... sorry. that was too funny.
you look great, fabulous dress, squint and all.
happy spring!
ha ha ha
hahahahhahhaha
Personally I think you look much more stylish than Michelle Obama.
Hi
awesome post - i'm creating video about it and i will post it to youtube !
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I wrote a similar blog regarding this subject but your is better.
Goodmorning
Good post - i'm creating video about it after i will post it to dailymotion !
if you wana to help or just need a link send me email !
Hello - I must say, I’m impressed with your site. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs and information was very easy to access. I found what I wanted in no time at all. Pretty awesome. Would appreciate it if you add forums or something, it would be a perfect way for your clients to interact. Great job
Although I would’ve preferred if you went into a little bit more detail, I still got the gist of what you meant. I agree with it. It might not be a popular idea, but it makes sense. Will definitely come back for more of this. Great work